tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-501363039964073935.post2735381951456530656..comments2012-01-26T05:33:12.784-08:00Amy Bellnoreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-501363039964073935.post-8373874443164649672012-01-23T16:44:33.608-08:002012-01-23T16:44:33.608-08:00Thanks so much for sharing! I especially appreciated your third point...it is easy to slip into the "savior mentality" and completely prideful, ugly and destructive to children who are already struggling with feelings of abandonment and rejection. I'm praying for continued healing as you parent yourself now...it's so great that you are asking questions and desire to process...but not easy.The Smith Familyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13366687601448145779noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-501363039964073935.post-4762869393549393482012-01-17T08:02:32.586-08:002012-01-17T08:02:32.586-08:00this is beautiful and brave. Thank you for posting, and thank her for sharing!amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16291610294720682569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-501363039964073935.post-87376697671232324872012-01-17T06:22:16.638-08:002012-01-17T06:22:16.638-08:00So glad you shared!!! Hearing your struggles and story during our many talks in college helped shape my worldview around adoption. Scott and I had many discussions before we adopted about what we would and would not want to do in part based on your story! We knew not only did we want Roman to feel he could come to us at anytime and ask us ANY question but that we wanted him to not only know us and our love but his birthparents stories as well. But I'm not sure I ever expressed how gratefull I was to you about it - THANK YOU!!!!CaulkFamilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02701081844061836507noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-501363039964073935.post-25524851912435424812012-01-17T06:21:40.930-08:002012-01-17T06:21:40.930-08:00So glad you shared!!! Hearing your struggles and story during our many talks in college helped shape my worldview around adoption. Scott and I had many discussions before we adopted about what we would and would not want to do in part based on your story! We knew not only did we want Roman to feel he could come to us at anytime and ask us ANY question but that we wanted him to not only know us and our love but his birthparents stories as well. But I'm not sure I ever expressed how gratefull I was to you about it - THANK YOU!!!!CaulkFamilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02701081844061836507noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-501363039964073935.post-44509210597088396242012-01-17T05:18:55.296-08:002012-01-17T05:18:55.296-08:00Thank you for sharing your heart with us.Unknownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10058012971715406908noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-501363039964073935.post-53517795230710695502012-01-16T19:34:40.637-08:002012-01-16T19:34:40.637-08:00Thank you for sharing and please keep doing so. As I raise my daughters I want our house to be open, transparent and honest in all ways, but most importantly about their lives before they came to live with us. We have the unique situation of knowing their family (I have a hard time calling them birth family as they are simply "family" to me). Even though they are little now, we talk about their mama and their baba, and their grandfather and grandmother, and their cousins, and aunts and uncles. We try to make it open now, so they will always be comfortable knowing they have two families, and that they know they can ask anything, and have the space to share anything...whatever their emotions, hearts are at the moment about their adoption. I still have so many mixed feelings about their adoption honestly, because we lived in their country for 4 years. It was really hard leaving, all of us saying good bye to their country (I'll never forget that moment as we drove away, tears falling). It felt heart wrenching, and still does, to have take them away in order to give them a family that had the ability to take care of them. Adoption means so many things to me, and when I look into their faces, I see the beauty of their mother and father, of their country and their people, and I know that adoption will mean so many different and harder things to them. I hurt that in adopting them they have lost the connection to their culture, their family, their language... We have made some intentional decisions already to try to make sure that their lives are not only white faces, but it is only a small thing. Anyway, I have really learned so much from adult adoptees (there are so many wonderful voices to learn from), and continue to learn so much. So thank you.Hollyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18292906576912622770noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-501363039964073935.post-51455928525708758392012-01-16T19:09:52.214-08:002012-01-16T19:09:52.214-08:00I agree. I am so thankful for her perspective. I have to admit that it had me in tears. Lots to learn....Amy Bellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18055664402294304965noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-501363039964073935.post-66560375391327429942012-01-16T18:38:44.872-08:002012-01-16T18:38:44.872-08:00Wonderful post! Thank you for sharing so openly!Meganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11138252587098641619noreply@blogger.com