for the really real

i have to admit.
i am LATE to the party on this author.
those of you in MOPS may know her.
jen hatmaker.

i discovered her when a friend on twitter posted
her blog post: after the airport.

i read the post probably about 10 times. crying.
by the time i got to the tenth time...i had to know
more about this lady.

mama. adoptive mama. author.

yep. she now has a new follower on twitter and FB...
her post was for the really real.

what's that? well, years ago a friend of mine had
a phone call for someone on her phone. she had no idea
who it was....when she told the caller they person had the wrong
number she heard..."for the really real?" about 5 times.
the caller could not believe she had the wrong number.
i won't forget it.

for the really real.
the post was written for real people.
jen has received some backlash for the post. some have
said she is going to deter adoption. really? i think adoptive
parents and those called to adoption know exactly why they
are adopting. i don't think anything/anyone would "deter" them.
strong communities are an important part of strong families.

point being: if you were 2 months into a marriage
and you confided in a friend
that things were really hard...unbearable at times
....most people would say "find some
great Christian counseling...this is forever"....

so, why,
in the adoption community
are we not saying the same thing to one another?

find a community. get help. share what you can. you are not alone.
and yes...the commitment is forever. it can be done. there are those who
have gone before you. trust Him. trust His word.

instead of acting like we were just the perfect
family, we chose to be honest. when people say, "oh, i bet
you smile all day" or "oh, your family is so wonderful"..we
are honest. yes, our family is awesome.
yes, we are having a hard time.
yes, our love is real.
for the really real.

it is time to be real.
not for the sake of drama or sharing too much,
but tell someone. find a community.
i would be lost without mine.
we don't have it figured out.
i don't have answers in neat packages.
some days..i don't think i have any answers.
it is just real.